"Smacked-in Hand Syndrome"
This is a very serious condition in which the smoker's hand acquires a permanent indentation from constantly smacking packs of cigarettes on their palm.

"Permanent Two-Fingered Point Syndrome"
This ailment is caused by the smoker constantly keeping their hand in this position while smoking. Notice also the indentations in the fingers, worn there from years of holding the cigarettes. The smoker's fingers always emit a putrid stench of sour, stale tobacco tar.

"Crusty Eyes Sundrome"
Notice the tired, dry, baggy, worn-out eyes from being exposed to toxic smoke for so long.

"Putrid Mouth Syndrome"
It is typical for a smoker to have an absolutely disgusting mouth, teeth and smile, stained beyond all hope from the revolting smoke. They commonly have harsh, hoarse voices caused by throat and vocal chord damage. See also that the lip has a prominent indentation from the cigarettes pressed on it.

Smokers are quite prone to lung damage, which causes a comical storm of coughing, gagging, and wheezing. See below picture for details.

    Let us not forget the smoker's attitude of "the world is my trash can". This attitude can be best observed as a smoker casually tosses their cigarette butts all over outside and on the streets out of their automobiles with no regret in the world. The squalid smoker will usually say in defense of this vile act that the cigarette butt is biodegradable, so it doesn't matter. Apparently, the cigarette smoke causes a malfunction in brain activity which causes the smoker to be unable to understand that trash is still trash and does NOT belong cluttering the Earth, which happens to be everyone's home. The smoker also does not seem to be able to realise that something may be biodegradable, but can also be poisonous to the environment.

Written and drawn by Josh Bakehorn, dreamt by millions of clean people, copyright 1999 Bakehorn Productions.